The following is a guest post by Dr. Spurven Ten Sing of Cassius University, who has now fully realized that the summer has passed without him having put on a Speedo type swimsuit that is two sizes too small and reading a book on the beach while sipping something with an umbrella sticking out of it.

Hello good people!

Ej has been filling my email box with some questions about life that I thought are odd. Send your answers in!

1. Why do people go to such lengths to park as close to the doors of a mall that they are just going to walk around all day in?

2. Why do some people avoid eating grains even though their widespread use made the entire modern world possible?

3. Why do people complain about the quality of music, and how it was better when they were young and listening to hair bands?

4. Why do guys give flowers to girls? What are girls going to do with them? They should give them an X box or something.

5. Who picks up all the ticker from a ticker tape parade? Do they save for the next parade or do they have to buy more from the confetti store?

6. What do we do when balloons fall back down on our heads?

7. How can we be sure that all the rats we’ve poisoned aren’t just faking it so that they can secretly steal all our crackers?

8. What would the governments of the world do if aliens sent a message saying that some tiny country was populated by their spies?

9. Has anyone ever used the word “ironic” in the correct way?

10. If two salesmen who are experts in mirroring looked at each other would we see eternity in their faces?

11. Has changing a Facebook icon ever changed anything in the world?

12. Does Delaware really exist?

13. If the Atlanteans were so smart, why did they all die?

14. If time doesn’t exist at light speed, is some photon is going to be really pissed when it finds out how long it’s been since it left home?

15. Does the god of the modern world ever get really tired of playing himself in chess and always winning both games?