It really happened this way!

I woke to find that it had rained during the night and I neglected to wrap a waterproof skin around me and my sleeping bundle was soaked.

Then I stepped on a wild rose stick and filled my foot with thorns on the way to the fire.

Then I found that the fire had gone out.

Then I went to go eat something that didn’t need cooking but found that some stupid chipmunks had gnawed into the bag my wife had made me.

Then I tripped on the same rose stick filling my other foot with thorns.

Then I swore really loudly and this scared four deer that had been grazing on the other side of a bush clump, ruining an easy meal.

Then I pulled all the thorns out of my feet and missed three tips under the skin.

Then I wrapped up my kit and ran off into the forest after the deer, stepped into a gopher hole and rolled my ankle.

Then I fell and rolled right off the precipice that I had been avoiding carefully and fell.

Then my pack struck a protruding branch which was then wrenched from my body, hurting my shoulder.

Then I slid into a wild rose hedge before tumbling into some mud.

Then I laid there a while hoping I would die already.

Then I stood, but found I couldn’t walk, I made a cane to hobble on, but my shoulder really hurt so I couldn’t use it.

Then I saw that I was trapped in a crevice so it didn’t matter.

Then it started to rain.

Then I started to cry.

My sob story!